I'm not a morning person. I hate alarm clocks, dark mornings, and having to be civil before I've been awake for at least an hour. So why am I attempting to establish a morning exercise routine for the umpteenth time? Let's find out if stickers and dinosaur supervision can finally make it stick.
Here are a couple of lists for you.
Things I like: Bed, duvets, waking up in my own time, and not having to talk to anyone for at least an hour after I wake.
Things that I seriously don't like: Alarm clocks, dark mornings, getting out of bed, forced interactions that require civil responses instead of grumbling for at least an hour after I wake, and having to do unreasonable things like starting work at 8 AM.
I think you get the picture. I am not a morning person. I am not a night owl, either. Basically I am good for about an hour around midday, then it's all downhill from there. But mornings are the worst, by far. Have you ever seen that Grumpy Cat meme with the caption: 'I hate morning people. And mornings. And people.'? When I first wake up, Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
I have read – and tried and failed to implement – the advice that proliferates on the internet, with optimistic titles like 'Becoming a morning person changed my life!' and 'The miracle of becoming a morning person!' I was, and remain, skeptical. These articles do make a lot of sense, and have helpful advice such as:
I could go on, but the fact remains, I do not like mornings. It doesn't make a difference as to how I wake up, either. Obviously alarm clocks are evil and should all be packed into a rocket and fired into the heart of the sun, but even if I was woken Disney-style with a bunch of adorable woodland animals chirping and twittering around my bed, it wouldn't change a thing. Long story short: I would totally punch Bambi on the nose if he got within thumping distance at 7 AM.
Given my aversion to all things in the AM, you're probably wondering why I am even thinking about trying to get a morning routine in place for the umpteenth time. I totally get it, 'cos I am wondering the same thing myself.
However, I recently had a discussion with a friend who I really admire. She isn't a morning person, either, but she wouldn't punch cute woodland animals 'cos she's way nicer than me. And she fights against her I-wanna-stay-in-bed inclinations to get up at 6.30 and go to the gym for an hour before starting work, because she says that otherwise exercising won't get done. I know exactly what she means, because I have the same problem. I get a lunchtime walk most days, but indoor exercise is irregular at best.
My work can be demanding, and I generally don't have a lot of energy left at the end of the day. (And, yes, I know that exercising more can help that problem, which is another excellent reason to get a routine I can live with sorted.)
I would love to be more like my disciplined friend, so I am setting myself a challenge: to get up and exercise first thing, at least five days a week. I'm not even talking about hour-long gym sessions, either. (I can't do gyms because I was a victim of British secondary school P.E. lessons in the 70s and 80s, and I am still traumatised. If I had a time machine, I would totally go back and punch Miss Vincent on the nose! I still wince every time I see a hockey stick.)
Anyway, I digress. As I was saying, I am not subjecting myself to other gym-goers (or, in fact, subjecting them to me and my morning crankiness). All I want to do is get up at 7.30, stagger bleary-eyed through to my home office and complete a 12-minute XBX session before getting ready for work. It doesn't even sound like a lot, right? I'm not forcing myself to get out of bed at 5 AM and go on a 10 mile run. I don't even have to change into workout clothes if I don't want to; XBX can easily be done in my jammies.
But I know that this is going to be one of the toughest routines I'll ever set for myself, and regular advice doesn't work for me long-term. I'm thinking if the promise of a shiny sticker is enough to get me to floss each night when everything else failed, maybe it will help me establish a morning exercise routine, too.
The experiment starts tomorrow. I've got my tracking sheet ready, my emoji stickers prepared (plenty of angry faces for those first brutal weeks), and Rexie standing by to provide motivational chomping if needed.
Send thoughts and prayers, please. I really, really need all the help I can get!
Until next time,
Carpe skateboard! 🛹🦖
Published: October 19, 2025
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